Month: August 2014

Categories
Ramblings

I Might Have Made An Error

In response to my previous post on unmet expectations, my wife Paige has informed me that I made a grievous error in something I stated.

Her informing me of the error went something like this…
As I was getting ready to go for my morning jog, I had gotten out of bed, changed into some running clothes, and stepped back into the bedroom. Standing beside the bed, I bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek, and then told her: “I’m going running. I’ll see you when I get back.”
      She slightly opened up one eye, glared at me with it, and said to me in all seriousness: “I am not a blanket-stealer.”blanket symbolizing my possible error

Her further defense:
She says she does not steal the blanket, but that the fault rests completely on me, since I kick the covers off of myself and throw them onto her in the middle of the night. She asserts that at that precise moment the blanket becomes fair game for her to do with as she pleases, and I have no right to re-claim it or complain.

She might have a point. What do you think?

Categories
Christian Living

My Unmet Expectations

There are times when we have “great expectations,” but when the expected event arrived, the reality was much different. For example,

Hands on Steering Wheel symbolizing Unmet Expectations drivingI remember the joy of getting my driver’s license – I had GREAT expectations. Expectations of freedom… of traveling all over town with my friends… of going wherever I wanted to whenever I wanted. And then reality smacked me in the face, as I heard such statements as:
“Go pick up your brother from soccer practice.”
“We are out of milk. Drive over to the grocery store and pick up a gallon… and while you are there, pick up some bread, and some cereal, and also a newspaper, and…

Instead of Mr. Independence, I found I’d become Errand Boy!

Or take marriage for example (don’t worry, I’m going to tread LIGHTLY here!)
But we often have an expectation of marriage that is quite different from reality.

I was told about marriage that: “You will find that you will never be as happy with another person, AND you’ll never be as angry at another person.” Most of us find this to be true. We find that our spouse can take us to both extremes easier than anyone else. Also in marriage – we have these romantic ideas, such as sleeping soundly snuggled up to our spouse. But the romantic expectation is not often the reality. In our house, we have at least two problems that prevent sleeping soundly in our bed like they show on the Sleep Number bed commercials:

#1. My wife, Paige… is a blanket stealer.
She does the grab & roll move, so that I wake up I at 4am in the morning and find myself shivering because I am having to use my pillow as a blanket.
#2. My wife, Paige… says that her husband is a snorer.
But I have never heard it, so I am not sure I believe it. Can you really trust the word of a blanket stealer?

Another Unmet Expectation that I have not experienced personally, but which I know occurs often is in regard to parenting. The expectation that OUR children will be perfect angels – unlike the wild banshee children who live next door! Before you have your own children you say such things as: “I would never let my child act like that. I can’t believe that parent is letting their child do that. I would never be a parent that does that.”

Before you become a parent, you have all the answers of how parenting works… as if it is some simple formula like 2+2 always = 4. Your expectation is that: All you have to do to parent properly is follow the formula and everything will work out fine and your children will be perfect angels. We think all these other parents are just blockheads that have decided not to follow the formula.” But then that precious baby shows up on the scene… and all our expectations are thrown out the window!

The main problem seems to be that all parents fall under the curse that their own parents put on them during childhood by stating: “When you have a child, I hope he/she is JUST LIKE YOU!” And that curse ALWAYS comes true. At which point all parenting formulas go out the window.

As one man said: “When I had no children, I had six different methods for parenting. Now I have 6 children and no methods – I just try to get through each day.”

The problem with Unmet Expectations in these areas and many others is that when our expectations are not met, doubts set in. We might even begin having doubts if we were really cut out for driving, marriage, or parenting. Why aren’t things working out like I expected them to?

Sadly, many people have their faith in God shaken when their expectations are unmet. “I’m a good person. Why is this happening to me? God can’t be a good God if this is happening.” But our unmet expectations do not negate the goodness of God. We have to learn to trust God even when our expectations are not met. Our role in this world is not to have our expectations met as if we are the stars of the story, but rather to exalt the One who is the Center of it all – the true Star of all History.

How do you keep from doubting God when reality sets in and your expectations are not met?

Categories
Worship

My Failure To Appreciate God’s Greatest Reward

a present symbolizing receiving a rewardWe all like presents. We all want rewards.

I remember as a little fella, being excited when Dad would come home from a business trip, and me and my brothers would immediately be asking – “Dad, what did you bring us?” We were hoping for some reward, some present. And though we didn’t express it properly, the bigger and better reward that we should have been most excited about was that Dad had returned home.

I have often heard people talking about serving God so that they will get a reward. This is not an un-biblical idea, but sometimes I wonder if our motives might be “in the wrong place”? If I am serving just in order to get a reward from God, am I serving Him or am I serving myself?

What is the blessing that I am looking for as I serve?
The Reward of Heaven?
The Reward of Escaping Hell?
The Reward of special Crowns I might receive?
The Reward of the End of Sadness?
The Reward of a New Body with no more Pain?

If I am only serving for my benefit, who am I really serving – myself or Jesus?

Maybe I should be more concerned about the simple reward of the joy of living with Christ. Isn’t that sufficient? Maybe I should focus more on the reward of being in a relationship with Him day-by-day.

Jon Piper asked it this way:
“The critical question for our generation—and for every generation—is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven…if Jesus Christ were not there?

Too often, we can be more focused on getting God’s blessings than enjoying the blessing of His relationship.

Too often I find myself wanting God to bless me, instead of being focused on answering the question, “God, how can I bless You?” I think it is time for me to focus more on how I can use my life to bless Him – and enjoy the reward of exalting Him more than seeking to receive a reward that exalts me.

What do you think… in your experience, do more people desire the things Jesus gives or do more people desire Jesus Himself? Are people too focused on asking “God, what did You bring us?” instead of being focused on the fact that He has given us a relationship with Himself?

(quote from John Piper, God Is the Gospel: Meditations on God’s Love as the Gift of Himself)

Categories
Christian Living

Becoming an Expert at Putting Others First

someone walking in dusty boots symbolizing us getting dirty at putting others firstIn my most recent post I indicated that we must get our hands “dirty” by working hard at this thing called discipleship – walking beside someone to help them grow in Christ-likeness. The reason we must do this is that:
     “The fundamental way that we are going to see Jesus save people across the globe is through discipleship…. the good old fashioned, life-on-life, person-to-person, dirty, messy process of teaching people to obey all that Jesus had commanded. Showing people with our words and our lives how to follow and magnify the Risen Savior” (Kevin Peck).

And if our calling is to make disciples who are obedient to Christ, then we must be models of obedience to Christ. Do you consider yourself a model in this area for others? You strive to be an expert in your field of business. You strive to be the most knowledgeable and capable person at what you are being paid to do. Yet the One who created you has called you to be an expert in discipleship and disciple-making. How well are you excelling in this area?

As disciples and disciple-makers, we must be willing to do God’s will even if it hurts. Putting others first – putting their interests above our own – is not something we are very good at. We think others should make us the center of the universe. But that is not the model that Jesus provided to us – this One who put my interests ahead of His own and left Heaven to come serve me. If He did that for me, then why do I have such a hard time putting your interests ahead of mine? Jesus tells us to serve like He did.

Let me give some practical example of what putting others first might look like.

That might mean rethinking your Marriage Contract as a Marriage Covenant … and instead of asking your spouse “what have you done for me today”, constantly having the attitude of “what can I do for you today?”

Becoming a discipleship expert might mean it is time for you to engage in Forgiveness – forgiving others as Jesus told Peter to do – always and completely. Who do you need to forgive? Your spouse, a family member, a coworker, a neighbor?

Or discipleship might mean Apologizing – How many of us have known people who, when they made mistakes, refused to apologize even when they knew they were wrong? How many of us are like that right now? Some of us need to throw away our pride and apologize to some people we know we have hurt.

Matthew Henry stated: “Those who are best prepared for the life to come are those that hold most loosely to this present life.”

Let us hold loosely to this life and hold on so desperately tight to Jesus, so much so that we are willing to be obedient to His command to serve others even if it hurts. Let us strive to be experts in discipleship – including putting others first.

I only named three discipleship areas we may be neglecting. What other discipleship qualities have we possible neglected and need to re-instill in our Christian walk?

Categories
Relationships

The Best Way To Impact The World

God has a plan to impact the world, and you have a key part to play in the plan.

Your role is to help the people around you connect with Christ and grow in godliness. That includes your spouse, your children, your extended family, your coworkers, and your neighbors. It is a slow, messy process that means you will have to invite a small number of people into a relationship with you so that you can share life together. Though there were many that influenced me, I had three key people do this for me – two of them were my parents and the third one was Richard.
two friends walking together
Richard invited me into his “circle” though I was an immature, know-it-all college student. And he walked me through discipleship by letting me walk beside him in everyday life so I could see how a Christian adult man should live with Jesus and for Him. Richard did a great job of putting his own interests aside for the express purpose of helping me grow in my knowledge of God’s Word and in developing Christ-like character. It took time because I was dense and stubborn! (I still am!) But he was patient. I have attempted to take what I learned from walking beside Richard and invite others to walk beside me. But this is a slow process that can become frustrating to us since we like to see things happen quickly. But lives just don’t change that fast. Are you willing to impact the world one-life-at-a-time in this slow, messy process called discipleship?

Here is an excerpt from an article on this idea of walk-beside-someone-discipleship:

     The fundamental way that we are going to see Jesus save people across the globe is through discipleship.
      That’s right, the good old fashioned, life-on-life, person-to-person, dirty, messy process of teaching people to obey all that Jesus had commanded. Showing people with our words and our lives how to follow and magnify the Risen Savior.
      That’s it – it may not be sexy, it may not sell books, but it is how God designed his redemption plan.
      We’ve all heard this before, I know. But think about it. To most of us, it seems nuts. The Son of God comes to earth and rather than staying and preaching for 40 years, He spends three years investing in 12 men and then he leaves! …What?! Surely we could come up with something new, maybe more efficient, maybe even as a backup plan? No. There isn’t a plan B, and there doesn’t need to be one. Discipleship is God’s choice plan for redeeming the world.
      This is not profound. It’s not new. It’s simply not finished. And most of us simply refuse to accept it. When it comes down to it, for most of us being as successful as Jesus was at developing leaders would feel like a wasted life.
      See how that’s a problem? To think little of this model and to reject this model is to reject God’s ordained means to accomplish His mission.
      The reality is if you reach only 12 in your life, it’s a win. It will probably feel like you’re spending too much time with a few and neglecting the many, but this is precisely how God will redeem every last one of His own!

Jesus’ model definitely seems time-consuming and difficult in our “I want it now” society. The reason it seems so time-consuming and difficult is because it is so time-consuming and difficult to walk beside another person in this slow, messy process. But it is the model He used and the one He expects us to use. It’s time to get your hands dirty. Who can you invite to walk beside you in discipleship? Who does God want you to be responsible for training in Christlike living and God-honoring character?

(article excerpt by Kevin Peck – “Without This Your Missional Movement Will Fail”)