Tag: American dream

Categories
Relationships

The Transactional Relationship – What Can You Do For Me?

a street in the suburbs to go along with the idea of life with transactional relationshipsIn his book, Death by Suburb, David Goetz indicates that American Christianity has drifted into a focus on success and prosperity and the fulfillment of the American dream. The suburbs developed as a place where those with sufficient means could escape some of the unpleasant circumstances of both city and country life (not living in the stress of the inner city, but also not living too far away from modern conveniences). Doing so provides the residents of the suburbs with a high level of comfort, and now we have allowed comfort and security to become idols for us, discouraging us from doing anything uncomfortable for God. This suburb mentality has infiltrated our Christianity and taken our focus off of radical and dangerous living for Christ and His mission.

Which brings us to the transactional relationship. One toxic mindset we’ve developed is: “What will this relationship do for me?” But God encourages us to build deep and meaningful friendships without looking for a better return on our investment. Goetz says:

“In suburban life, we live by the transactional relationship – we are quick to give a helping hand to the man on a ledge a little higher up – so that we can benefit from what they can give us later. Intimacy is the one thing in suburban church that everyone craves but few seem to have. You can’t use transactional relationships and expect to experience in them the kind of friendship that sweetens life and takes the edge off its hard parts. In true friendship (non-transactional), I can feel the grace of God where I experience what it means to be accepted not for the value that I add but for the value I am.”

Are you looking to build relationships only with those who can provide you something in return? When you think about serving someone, do you have the thought in the back of your mind, “How will this provide me with a possible benefit in the future?”

Jesus said: “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment….”

Stop investing only in Transactional Relationships and begin investing in people for the simple facts that they were also created in the image of God, that they are loved by God, and that God calls you to love them too.

Categories
Christian Living

Giving Up Good Things to Obtain the Best

We all want to live the good life. We want good things.

The problem is that sometimes we chase after the good things, and this pursuit keeps us from finding the best things. There is only so much time in a day. Only so much time in a life. And when we spend our time and our lives focusing on the many good things out there, we may miss out on what is best. What if instead, we narrowed our focus to the best things and only pursued those?

Here’s my simplistic example: There are a lot of good books out there that I can read. Many people will tell me about a good book they just read. Some will even hand me their copy and tell me to take time to read it. But there are also some great books out there! Many of them tested by time and having garnered many awards. And so with the limited time I have, I can fill my reading time with many of those good books, but in doing so, I will be unable to read the best books. So I have tried to make a conscious effort to say “No” to the good to make sure I have time to say “Yes” to the best. But it takes determination and effort to keep the good from crowding out the best.

The pursuit of the good life in America hinges on success, wealth, fame. But many people who have sought and obtained that “good life” have found it to be empty and unfulfilling at the top. God tells us what will bring us the best life – pursuing a life that pleases Him. But again, this takes determination and effort to keep the “good” of the American dream from crowding out the “best” of God’s dream for me.

My American notion of the good life is for money and safety and comfort and happiness and the fulfillment of every desire of my heart. But if God tells me that His plan is best, then shouldn’t I drop my notion and try to fulfill every desire of God’s heart?

To meet His desires, it will take determination and effort as I will have to learn to give up my “good” things for His “best” things. The life of a Christian is about constantly giving up my notions and embracing His notions.

It seems counter-intuitive, but since He made the universe, this world, its rules, and me… I figure He understands the difference between “good” and “best” better than I do.

So what do I need to give up today in order to find a bit more of His best for me?
What about you?

And on another note… Many of my posts have to do with me trying to craft something around a quote or thought from something I read and thought was important. But when I can’t figure out a good way to craft around a quote, it can keep me from writing for a few days as I start an idea, re-write it, trash it, etc. So when that occurs, I’m going to try to stop worrying about it so much, and just give some of them to you at the bottom of my post, even if they don’t tie in to the post at all! Just consider it lagniappe! (some of you will have to look that word up!)

Today’s Unrelated Quotes from ‘Creature of the Word’:
“Compassion linked to the gospel is compassion that goes beyond merely observing hurting people; it sees hurting people and realizes that Jesus loves them furiously.”

“Ultimately, then, it’s not our compassion but the compassion of Jesus that fuels and sustains our desire to act on others’ behalf. When we remember how gracious and compassionate Christ has been to us, our compassion is as sustainable as our remembrance of the gospel.”

“Without Him, compassion will slowly but surely devolve into a weepy moment that we forget as soon as the commercial ends or someone breaks the mood with a joke.”

How well does your remembrance of the gospel sustain your compassion?

Categories
Christian Living

Wanting The Good Life

We all want a life of abundance. Jesus says He wants to provide it. But could we possibly have a wrong understanding of the promise? Have we looked at the promise through “American dream”–tinted glasses? Have we fallen prey to some trap of our own design?a mousetrap set with a piece of cheese, symbolizing the trap of equating the good life to the American dream

We often pray for safety and comfort. We pray for safe travels. We pray that everyone in our family would be healthy and whole. Our safety and comfort are issues that we feel we want & need. And when we read passages such as Romans 8:28 which states that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, we interpret them to be saying: “God will be faithful in making my life good.”

But then sometimes our lives are not so “good” in our eyes. Tragedy comes, accidents happen, life takes a turn for the worse. And if we have banked on the “good life” as we have defined it, we get extremely rattled. We get angry with God. We might even seem to lose our faith for a season. But maybe we should remember that the end of that verse says “and are called according to His purposes.” If we understand that God will be faithful in making things good in relation to bringing glory to His name, then even our death (which seems to NOT be OUR GOOD) can be good when it is done in a way that glorifies His name (as martyrs have done).

Interestingly enough, Jesus didn’t pray for the safety & comfort of His disciples, but rather that His disciples would be kept from the evil one and would stand strong in the face of temptations. He knew that they would not have safety & comfort – in fact it is said that most of Jesus’ disciples died a martyr’s death. And so it wasn’t that he needed to pray for their safety and comfort, but rather to pray for them to be faithful to bring glory to God and advance His kingdom – not only through their lives but through their deaths. What if we began to change our prayers to ask for the things Jesus did for his disciples?

In the movie The End of the Spear, the missionaries were asked if they would use their guns if the tribe attacked them. The statement was – “Son, We can’t shoot them because they do not have Jesus, and we do. So it is OK if we die now, but not OK for them to die without Jesus.” That in no way is comfort or safety, but the deaths of these missionaries was definitely glorifying to God. The sacrifice that the men were willing to give (their lives) for the gospel paired with the love that was shown to the people by the spouses that were left behind – led the Waodani people to believe in Jesus.

If we fall into the trap of American thinking – life should always be pleasant with good things – we hinder ourselves from understanding how life that may be difficult can bring glory to God – and maybe that is the good that we need to understand that Romans 8:28 is discussing.

Paul spoke of his “thorn in the flesh” and asked that it would be removed, but when it wasn’t, Paul indicated that his comfort was less important than God gaining glory through Paul’s weaknesses which would make Paul rely more on God.

So the first thing we need to do is to start getting our minds around the glory of God and then to imitate Jesus’ prayer. We need to pray for God’s glory – even if that might mean the loss of our comfort & safety.

The second imitation we need to have is that we need to pray for one another to be kept from temptation. That is not a prayer we often pray, is it? We pray for each others’ comfort & safety, but very seldom do we pray for each other to be kept from the temptations of the evil one. What kind of difference would that make in our lives if we all began praying that for one another? We see the same statement in the model prayer – Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

In our lives, let’s look for the good that brings God glory more than brings us comfort!