There are times when we have “great expectations,” but when the expected event arrived, the reality was much different. For example,
I remember the joy of getting my driver’s license – I had GREAT expectations. Expectations of freedom… of traveling all over town with my friends… of going wherever I wanted to whenever I wanted. And then reality smacked me in the face, as I heard such statements as:
“Go pick up your brother from soccer practice.”
“We are out of milk. Drive over to the grocery store and pick up a gallon… and while you are there, pick up some bread, and some cereal, and also a newspaper, and…
Instead of Mr. Independence, I found I’d become Errand Boy!
Or take marriage for example (don’t worry, I’m going to tread LIGHTLY here!)
But we often have an expectation of marriage that is quite different from reality.
I was told about marriage that: “You will find that you will never be as happy with another person, AND you’ll never be as angry at another person.” Most of us find this to be true. We find that our spouse can take us to both extremes easier than anyone else. Also in marriage – we have these romantic ideas, such as sleeping soundly snuggled up to our spouse. But the romantic expectation is not often the reality. In our house, we have at least two problems that prevent sleeping soundly in our bed like they show on the Sleep Number bed commercials:
#1. My wife, Paige… is a blanket stealer.
She does the grab & roll move, so that I wake up I at 4am in the morning and find myself shivering because I am having to use my pillow as a blanket.
#2. My wife, Paige… says that her husband is a snorer.
But I have never heard it, so I am not sure I believe it. Can you really trust the word of a blanket stealer?
Another Unmet Expectation that I have not experienced personally, but which I know occurs often is in regard to parenting. The expectation that OUR children will be perfect angels – unlike the wild banshee children who live next door! Before you have your own children you say such things as: “I would never let my child act like that. I can’t believe that parent is letting their child do that. I would never be a parent that does that.”
Before you become a parent, you have all the answers of how parenting works… as if it is some simple formula like 2+2 always = 4. Your expectation is that: All you have to do to parent properly is follow the formula and everything will work out fine and your children will be perfect angels. We think all these other parents are just blockheads that have decided not to follow the formula.” But then that precious baby shows up on the scene… and all our expectations are thrown out the window!
The main problem seems to be that all parents fall under the curse that their own parents put on them during childhood by stating: “When you have a child, I hope he/she is JUST LIKE YOU!” And that curse ALWAYS comes true. At which point all parenting formulas go out the window.
As one man said: “When I had no children, I had six different methods for parenting. Now I have 6 children and no methods – I just try to get through each day.”
The problem with Unmet Expectations in these areas and many others is that when our expectations are not met, doubts set in. We might even begin having doubts if we were really cut out for driving, marriage, or parenting. Why aren’t things working out like I expected them to?
Sadly, many people have their faith in God shaken when their expectations are unmet. “I’m a good person. Why is this happening to me? God can’t be a good God if this is happening.” But our unmet expectations do not negate the goodness of God. We have to learn to trust God even when our expectations are not met. Our role in this world is not to have our expectations met as if we are the stars of the story, but rather to exalt the One who is the Center of it all – the true Star of all History.
How do you keep from doubting God when reality sets in and your expectations are not met?