Tag: marriage

Categories
Bible

Bound to the Word of God. (Tied, Restricted, and Restrained.)

Bound means tied up. Binding restraints and restricts. It means we can’t do certain things because we are tied to something else. If you physically tie me — bind me — to my chair, I can’t go for a walk. I can’t drive my car. I can’t go to work. Physically binding me would keep me in one fixed location.photo of a ship tied to the dock - bound

But we can also be bound in other ways. I am bound by my vows to my wife, and therefore I am emotionally, mentally, and physically united to her. She and I chose this binding to each other. We willingly restricted ourselves to each other. I am not able to be tied to another woman nor even to be tempted toward another, unless I loosen the bonds that I chose when I said “I do” to Paige.

So… what are you bound to? The Old Testament prophet Ezra bound himself to God’s Word. And we are also to be bound by God’s Word.

When we become a Christian, we say that the Bible will be the standard by which we are bound. Which means we will be restricted from certain thoughts and actions because of choosing to be tied to the commands within this Book. If you think all this binding sounds restrictive… It is, but it is restrictive for our good.

We have a good Heavenly Father, who has defined what should bind us. He indicates that the binding in marriage of one man to one woman for life is for our good. Paige and I believed that to be true because God said it, but now we have also lived it. This May, we will have experienced the truth of the goodness of this binding for 25 years. We have discovered that God’s Word about binding is definitely true in this area of life.

And God indicates that the binding of ourselves to His Word is always for our good. I want you to believe it because God said it is true. But I also want you to experience it.picture of a Bible - to which we are bound as Christians

At a Pastor’s Conference, Seminary President Al Mohler said:

We are bound by God’s Word.

We are in the midst of a culture that is embracing and accelerating sexual immorality and the whole general environment of immorality. It is becoming institutionalized, and it is celebrating rebellion against the Word of God.

And yet here we are, bound by the Word of God.

Does your congregation know that you as a pastor are bound by Scripture? Do they understand that there are things you must preach simply because God has revealed these things in His Word?

Does your congregation feel bound by Scripture? Do your church members understand that when Scripture speaks, God speaks? And that when God speaks, it is the voice of God? And that they are bound by it?

The Bible is the very Word of God, and it binds me for my benefit.

And as a believer you are also restricted and restrained by Scripture – tied to think, speak, and act in ways that God commands in it.

I hope that you will set your heart to love being bound by God’s Word – because it is a binding that is for your good.

Is there any command(s) from God’s Word that was hard for you to obey at the moment, but now you realize that obeying it was good for you?

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Categories
Relationships

I Recommend that You Find Out Your Spouse’s Love Language

Do you know your love language? Do you know your spouse’s? How about your children’s?

Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, has been around for more than 20 years. And it is still a powerful resource to help us love those around us – our spouse, our children, our family members, even our friends and co-workers.

Even if you do not read the rest of the post after this sentence, be sure that you go to this Five Love Languages Website Link to take the free on-line test to discover your primary love language. And then get your spouse and children to take it. And then share with each other the languages that mean the most to each of you.
     (The free assessment consists of 30 questions and only takes 10-15 minutes to complete)
a graphic showing the five love languages
Dr. Gary Chapman has hit on a fundamental principle for us all in his discussion on love languages, as he indicates that:

  • Love is an emotional need. If we know we are loved, the whole world is bright, but if we don’t have love being poured into us, we are likely to feel lonely and unappreciated.

  • Inside each of us is an emotional “love tank” that needs to be filled with the “right fuel” to help us feel loved.

  • Each of us has a primary love language, and we expresses love in the way that comes naturally to us. And since it is rare for a couple to speak the same love language, each person must learn to show love in the way that their spouse needs to receive it.

  • Love is a choice – something we do for the other person. We can and must learn to speak our partner’s primary love language, or we may wind up with our partner feeling unloved despite our sincere effort to love them.

  • Remember that when speaking your partner’s love language “doesn’t come naturally” to you, and yet you make the effort to do so anyway, you are showing your partner just how important they are to you.

  • The issue is not being comfortable, the issue is choosing to love.

  • It takes practice, practice, practice, but the results will be worth it!

    • The Love Chapter found in the Bible at 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 provides us with a look at the selfless nature of God’s love that we should take in and then pour out to our spouse and to others. It tells us that:

    Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    Are you willing to learn the love language of your spouse and your children and then selflessly provide love to them in a way that might not always come naturally to you?

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    Categories
    Marriage

    A Love Story To Imitate in Your Own Marriage

    Do you know the touching love story of Robertson & Muriel McQuilkin?

    Robertson McQuilkin was the president of Columbia Bible College when his wife developed Alzheimer’s Disease.
    Robertson had to make a decision: To continue working at the college or to become caretaker of Muriel. Both jobs required 100% of him, so he had to resign from one or the other. He wrote a letter to Columbia Bible College to explain his decision. In it he stated:

    …recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contented most of the time she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just “discontent.” She is filled with fear—even terror—that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home. So it is clear to me that she needs me now, full-time…

    The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel “in sickness and in health…till death do us part.” So, as I told the students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt.

    Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me—her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don’t have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.

    A true love story! This is the type of loving, self-sacrificing commitment that each of us are called to make to one another when we say “I Do.”

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    Categories
    Christian Living

    My Unmet Expectations

    There are times when we have “great expectations,” but when the expected event arrived, the reality was much different. For example,

    Hands on Steering Wheel symbolizing Unmet Expectations drivingI remember the joy of getting my driver’s license – I had GREAT expectations. Expectations of freedom… of traveling all over town with my friends… of going wherever I wanted to whenever I wanted. And then reality smacked me in the face, as I heard such statements as:
    “Go pick up your brother from soccer practice.”
    “We are out of milk. Drive over to the grocery store and pick up a gallon… and while you are there, pick up some bread, and some cereal, and also a newspaper, and…

    Instead of Mr. Independence, I found I’d become Errand Boy!

    Or take marriage for example (don’t worry, I’m going to tread LIGHTLY here!)
    But we often have an expectation of marriage that is quite different from reality.

    I was told about marriage that: “You will find that you will never be as happy with another person, AND you’ll never be as angry at another person.” Most of us find this to be true. We find that our spouse can take us to both extremes easier than anyone else. Also in marriage – we have these romantic ideas, such as sleeping soundly snuggled up to our spouse. But the romantic expectation is not often the reality. In our house, we have at least two problems that prevent sleeping soundly in our bed like they show on the Sleep Number bed commercials:

    #1. My wife, Paige… is a blanket stealer.
    She does the grab & roll move, so that I wake up I at 4am in the morning and find myself shivering because I am having to use my pillow as a blanket.
    #2. My wife, Paige… says that her husband is a snorer.
    But I have never heard it, so I am not sure I believe it. Can you really trust the word of a blanket stealer?

    Another Unmet Expectation that I have not experienced personally, but which I know occurs often is in regard to parenting. The expectation that OUR children will be perfect angels – unlike the wild banshee children who live next door! Before you have your own children you say such things as: “I would never let my child act like that. I can’t believe that parent is letting their child do that. I would never be a parent that does that.”

    Before you become a parent, you have all the answers of how parenting works… as if it is some simple formula like 2+2 always = 4. Your expectation is that: All you have to do to parent properly is follow the formula and everything will work out fine and your children will be perfect angels. We think all these other parents are just blockheads that have decided not to follow the formula.” But then that precious baby shows up on the scene… and all our expectations are thrown out the window!

    The main problem seems to be that all parents fall under the curse that their own parents put on them during childhood by stating: “When you have a child, I hope he/she is JUST LIKE YOU!” And that curse ALWAYS comes true. At which point all parenting formulas go out the window.

    As one man said: “When I had no children, I had six different methods for parenting. Now I have 6 children and no methods – I just try to get through each day.”

    The problem with Unmet Expectations in these areas and many others is that when our expectations are not met, doubts set in. We might even begin having doubts if we were really cut out for driving, marriage, or parenting. Why aren’t things working out like I expected them to?

    Sadly, many people have their faith in God shaken when their expectations are unmet. “I’m a good person. Why is this happening to me? God can’t be a good God if this is happening.” But our unmet expectations do not negate the goodness of God. We have to learn to trust God even when our expectations are not met. Our role in this world is not to have our expectations met as if we are the stars of the story, but rather to exalt the One who is the Center of it all – the true Star of all History.

    How do you keep from doubting God when reality sets in and your expectations are not met?

    Categories
    Relationships

    With Whom Are You Praying?

    “God is great, God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. By His hands, we are fed. Thank You Lord for daily bread. Amen.”

    A lot of Christian parents seem to do a pretty good job of helping their children learn to pray at meals and even to say their bedtime prayers. Hurray! This is excellent.

    But based on my conversations with these same parents, I have a sneaking suspicion that these moms and dads aren’t praying together. So my question to you today is – Are You Praying With Your Spouse?

    What I sense is that wives desire for their husbands to step into that spiritual leader role in the family and to lead in prayer with and for them, but that we men often shy away from doing so. Husband, are you leading you wife in prayer?

    Prayer together with your spouse is a MUST. “Your prayer life together is important. Sure, you might be able to have a good marriage without it, but that misses the point entirely. The real question here is this: Can my marriage meet God’s call without shared prayer?” The answer is, or course, a resounding No! “If there are never times when you desire prayer with your wife… then your prayer life is on life support and your life is out of balance” (from Every Man’s Challenge)

    I have been surprised that when I have had people pray together with their spouses at church, I have had multiple couples come to me and say – “Thank You for making us do that. I had never before heard my spouse pray for me.” Would your spouse say something similar?

    Men, step up and be that spiritual leader. Do it before tomorrow. Before you turn off the light and drift off to sleep tonight, simply say, “Honey, I think we should pray before we go to bed.” Start tonight. And then don’t stop – repeat it each night. Pray for your children together, pray for your parents, pray for you two AS parents, pray for each other. And then watch the difference it makes in your life and in your marriage!