Categories
Christian Living

Is there hope for reconciliation in our polarized situation?

“What’s on your mind?”
The image above shows you the default question that I see before I start typing a new post. And due to the polarized discussions that are taking place these last few weeks, my answer to that question is “too much!” It seems that my mind is swimming through ideas; my thoughts are racing in so many directions. I know there are some things I want to say, I believe there are some things I need to say, but I’m not really sure how to say them. Maybe you find yourself with similar feelings.

The death of George Floyd is terrible. It grieves my heart that a man was killed in such a horrendous manner. It is a great tragedy that has once again brought out the fact that injustice is still very real in our nation, specifically for our fellow black and brown citizens.

The rioting that has followed has also been tragic. While the peaceful protests have shown that people can shine the light on injustice in a helpful way, the violence committed by others on people and property is terrible. These specific tragedies point out truths we already knew – that…

  • Our nation contains injustice.
  • Our nation contains prejudice.
  • Our nation contains violence.
  • Our nation contains sin.

But our nation also has within it an amazing resource for healing and reconciliation… Jesus and the people who follow Him. And those of us who are followers of His are called upon by our Lord to be salt and light in these difficult days. Don’t miss this truth that as Lord, Jesus is our Commanding King. And as such, He has called us to serve as His ambassadors – sharing His message of peace and grace with others.

But many of us have felt trapped on how to proceed as His ambassadors. We know that we are in a watershed moment. We know that we need to speak up for the ones who are facing injustice (the Bible tells us to). We know that we need to speak out against the evil of prejudice and racism that is still so prevalent in our nation today (the Bible tells us to).

And yet, as we watch and listen to so many others, we struggle to know what we should say, how we should say it, and when we should say it. The Bible tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. It seems that we are seeing too much of the opposite taking place – people who are quick to shout their opinions without doing the hard work of listening to those who are distraught.

The Bible tells us that Jesus, through His work on the cross, has torn down the dividing walls – removing the barriers. Yet we find that we often put them right back up. As His followers, we are to be ministers of reconciliation. And therefore, I’m wondering why the conversations that are being sparked from these tragic situations have to be as ugly as what I am seeing. For example:

  • I have seen family members attack one another on social media over the issues that are being discussed.
  • I have seen church members post comments on social media that are inconsiderate and polarizing.
  • I have even seen posts and messages from pastors that are inappropriate and unhealthy in seeking to bring any type of reconciliation.

These things also grieve my heart.

Brothers and sisters, we must do better.
In fact, because we have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, we can do better.

It grieves my heart that so many who are supposed to be ministers of reconciliation are not listening, but instead are adding fuel to the fire. I wish more of us would pause before speaking (or posting) to reflect on the truth that “just because I have an opinion, doesn’t mean I need to share it.”

Christian brother or sister, before you share anything on social media, please ask yourself, “How will what I am sharing bring reconciliation and healing?” Follower of Christ, before you say anything to a neighbor or friend, you need to ask, “How are my words going to show that I love all people, just as Jesus commanded me to do?”

God gives us some easy-to-understand commands about dealing with other people. And though they are easy-to-understand, they are not always easy to live out:

  • Love your neighbor as yourself.
  • In humility, consider others as more important than yourself.
  • Look not to your own interests, but rather to the interests of others.
  • As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

These aren’t my ideas; these are quotes from the Bible. They are the King’s commands to His followers. How well are you following? Let’s use these as our guides. If we will allow these words of God to be our guides, remembering to listen more than we speak, then we will find that we have a much better chance at being the peace-makers and the ministers of reconciliation He has commanded us to be.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peace-makers.” How are you working to bring peace to a hurting nation right now? How are you working to bring peace to your hurting neighbors right now? One of Paige’s favorite verses states: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.” How about we try following that command for a change? I believe that if we obey God’s Word, then God will be faithful to honor our obedience to Him and give us opportunities we never had before to foster healing in the midst of such division.

Today, instead of worrying about what group or symbol or idea you need to defend because someone said or posted something you didn’t like, how about we worry more about how to serve Jesus by bringing words of peace, healing, and reconciliation to the table as He has commanded us?

two hands grasping one another with words like serve, unite, and assist - showing that we are better together and need reconciliation
Better Together

I believe that because of Jesus – His work on the cross and His work in the lives of His followers – that there is hope for reconciliation in the midst of our polarized situation. I pray that we will have patience with each other as we work through what to say with each other with grace, compassion, and empathy. And I do know that for me…

I am going to ask God to help me continue to listen, continue to understand, and continue to grow in my compassion and empathy. I am going to ask Him to help me only use words that will bring healing and reconciliation. I am going to ask Him to help me stand up for and care about those around me who continue to face injustice and who live in fear. I am going to ask Him to help me be a peace-maker.

Maybe you could too?

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Categories
Relationships

Hypocrisy

One of my favorite quotes that I memorized as a teen was from a DC Talk album:
“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians… who acknowledge Jesus with their lips… and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” –Brennan Manning

Even if an unbelieving world doesn’t believe in God, they know that the God we claim to follow tells us to consistently live out His teachings. And part of living out those teachings is loving others.

Instead of loving people and speaking the truth in love to them in hopes of them changing toward more God-honoring behaviors, many Christians instead choose to judgmentally condemn others. We are told that we can view peoples’ behaviors in order to judge how to win them to the Lord in love. But we are not told to be harshly condemning of people, pointing our fingers at them as if to say “shame, shame, shame.”
Pointing finger
Passages such as “Do not judge so that you will not be judged” aren’t about us accepting peoples’ ungodliness as OK, but rather they are about the issue that God’s problem with our judging is that we not only judge right from wrong, we then stand in judgmental condemnation.

Too often we condemn while we hold onto our own similarly ungodly behaviors. This is called hypocrisy.
Some examples:
We condemn murder, while we hold onto hate;
We condemn those who won’t forgive us, while we are still angry with others;
We condemn adultery, while we are filled with lustful thoughts;
We condemn liars, while we hold back the truth to benefit us;
We condemn greed, while we are not generous;
We condemn criminals, while we find little ways to break the law (such as speeding);
We condemn those who gossip, while we talk about them behind their backs.

We condemn ungodly behaviors, while refusing to see how ungodly we are in the same areas.

What we are doing is standing in judgmental condemnation of others, rather than trying to win people for Jesus through an attitude of loving reconciliation.

We are all sinners. We cannot stand before God on our merits. Therefore we are not to condemn others for being in the same boat as us. Instead we are to use our wisdom and compassion to judge only with an eye toward loving reconciliation… to help others get on track (or back on track) with God.

God says that He does not take pleasure in the death of an evil person, but that every person who is doing evil should turn toward Him and find life. Do we have the same attitude of compassion as God?

There will be a day of judgment. And God will be the One to preside. My hope is that I will have fulfilled my role of pointing more people to life in Him through loving reconciliation on that day.

Categories
Relationships

The Breach

breach (defined): a tear, rupture, gap, or rift.

a serious crack, or breach, in a concrete wallEver had a breach in a relationship?
Ever had a friendship that was torn or ruptured?

In almost every long-lasting, human relationship there will come a time when we find ourselves at odds with the other person, and we will encounter a breach. The question is what will we do, once the breach has occurred? Too often I don’t want to be the one to reconcile the relationship, especially if they were the ones who started the breach. (And of course, in our eyes, they always are the ones most at fault – it couldn’t have been my fault, right?)

“No Christian ever has a right to sever any relationship with anybody out of anger…or even injustice.”

Two missionaries to the Appalachian mountain people, Alice and David, are having a discussion about a breach. So often I find myself with the attitude of David instead of the attitude of Alice.

“Miss Alice’s voice was mild. “I’m not passing any judgment on the rightness or wrongness of any part of it. All I want to point out is that there’s now a breach between Ozias and you, so it’s up to you to take the first step towards righting it.”
“Why me? He’s the one who was wrong.”
“David, I’ve been back here in the Cove a little longer than you. One of the worst evils around here is nursing grudges, sometimes for years. Retaliating evil for evil is considered a virtue, the mark of strong character. Here with this Ozias situation, you’ve got a ready-made chance to demonstrate a better way: the strength of forgiveness.”
“I fail to see how my forgiving Ozias for being a lazy bum would demonstrate anything to him and the other men except weakness?
“David, no Christian ever has a right to sever any relationship with anybody out of anger, [wounded pride], or even injustice, no matter how much he disapproves of someone’s actions. It’s our place to demonstrate reconciliation – not judgment or revenge or retaliation. That’s God’s business, not ours.”

Alice is right. God has given us the ministry of reconciliation. Yet, our own hurt pride and anger over the injustice done to us keeps us from demonstrating the strength of forgiveness. We are glad we have received forgiveness from God after continuously offending Him, but we are slow to give it to others. Why are we who are Christians so slow to repair the breach even if we didn’t cause it?

Her voice grew softer. “Beware the chasms in thy life, David. Sooner or later [you might] fall down in the chasm thyself.”

Are there any breached relationships that you need to start repairing?
For those who have repaired a breach, any advice on how you started?

(Quotes from the book “Christy” by Catherine Marshall)