Are you teaching your children to fail?
K-Love has “Life Change Moments” and one from earlier this year was a good reminder of a powerful lesson that we all need to teach to our children – Teaching our children to fail well.
The statement made was that we go get our child ice cream they win the basketball game with the final shot, celebrating their victory. However, if they miss that last shot, we hang our heads and try not to talk about it, indicating to them our shame and disappointment. What we need to do instead is to teach that failure is part of life. We need to be honest and transparent with our own failures, telling our children at dinnertime about the bone-headed mistake that we made at work today.
I agree with this “Life Change Moment.” I’m not saying that we need to congratulate our children’s failures, but that we should be realistic and let them know that failure is normal and not shameful. I’ve seen too many children & teens brokenhearted due to seeing their parent’s intense disappointment due to the child’s failure (or lack of success) at a sporting event or some other competition. It is so easy to show our disappointment with our children’s failures and poor choices without ever letting them know that we adults also make poor choices and have failures. So let’s be honest and transparent and teach our children to fail well – learning not to be shamed, but rather to use failure as an instructor and motivator to help us learn how to succeed in the future.
God, Help Us To Change Our Conversations – even with our children!
Parents, any practical suggestions on how to do this?
“Spare the rod and spoil the child – that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.” –Martin Luther
— brian rushing
2 replies on “Teaching Children To Fail”
Thanks Brian. Wish I would have had this type of wise counsel as a young parent. So many mistakes were made early on. Not that I don’t make them now… My reactions to situations at times display “What not to do,” more so than what to do… Christ in my life has made a tremendous difference and I know that I will be a much better grandparent than I was a parent… What’s the old adage, “If I knew then what I know now….” I hope young parents receive this message and seek God as they build relationships with their children and teach them to live.
Thanks for commenting Maria! I realize that hindsight is most always 20/20, and makes it easy to see our mistakes. But at least we can also admit our mistakes and failures, and use them as teaching tools for our children as well! Much love to you and Brian! Miss you guys.