When I started out in youth ministry, I had the idea that I should invite any and every teenager who I could find to come check out our youth worship services. So I did. And some of them even came. And some of them had not grown up in church. And some of them were a bit rough around the edges.
Therefore, I was quickly taken aside and told by a couple of the members of the church, “Be careful what teenagers you invite into this church, because some don’t know how to behave in church, and they don’t need to be here until they learn how to behave.”
WHAT??
Were they serious?
Unfortunately, yes.
And as a young minister who was about 25 years younger than them, I didn’t know what to say. (Though I’d have some choice words for such a comment said to me today!)
“They don’t know how to behave.”
“They shouldn’t be allowed here until they can behave.”
So who is supposed to teach them how to behave in church if not the church?
Of course, I disagree with the whole “in church” mentality anyway. People are the church, not the building at a certain address that you find yourself “in” on a given Sunday. But apart from that technicality, when we have these types of attitudes, we have gone back to the system of the Pharisees that says: “You clean up your act, and then you can come to know God.”
Instead we should be living in the system of Christ that says, “You come as you are – with your sin – and let Jesus embrace you and remove your sin – then He will help to clean you up.”
Which attitude draws people?
Which attitude is compassionate?
Which attitude shows love?
Jesus drew people to Himself, was compassionate, was loving… even to the outcast and the sinner. How is it that Christians are so often seen as people who push people away and are not known for compassion or love? How do we get this so wrong?
We are told to imitate Jesus. So what does that mean? It means we should be people of grace, forgiveness, and joy so that we help to show what Jesus is like – the One who loves deeply and constantly pursues us to transform us into His likeness.
I’m glad I didn’t fall into the trap that these two people set for me, and instead kept on inviting new teens – even the ones who didn’t yet know how to behave! I guess I’m still learning how to “behave” as well! And that is fine by me.
Now go out and invite someone to be part of your faith community.
Don’t invite them “into” a church building. Invite them into church – into the relationship of family that it is.
And don’t worry about whether they know how to behave. When Jesus gets hold of them, He’ll take care of cleaning them up the way He wants them to be. You and me… we’d just mess it up!
2 replies on “Things We Get Wrong, Part 3… Inviting People To Church”
Just a thought. Shouldn’t we be inviting them into a relationship with Christ first then invite them to join others who have developed that same relationship? Don’t we have too many people who join the Church (body of believers) for religious purposes rather than for sharing a common love, respect and the desire to serve Christ? Just thinking aloud!
Good thought Andy! I think I would back up even another step and say, first we should be inviting people into a relationship with us… learning to be a friend and not just friendly. Jesus invited people into relationship with Him. He ate with others. He cared about others. As those who are to imitate Him, we could learn a lot!