There ain’t much in life that is free.
Certainly not love.
True love demands commitment.
True love is an active choice of binding oneself to another.
“They have invented a new phrase that is a black-and-white contradiction in two words—”free love.” As if a lover had been, or ever could be, free. It is the nature of love to bind itself….”
The quote is from G.K. Chesterton. And I love how he finishes this thought about the binding nature of love. He says that “the institution of marriage merely paid the average man the compliment of taking him at his word.”
When we say “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, & in health,” we are making an active, binding statement. We are giving our word that we will be bound up with the other person for a lifetime.
Ravi Zacharias reflects (somewhat deeply) on this idea of binding love:
“Unfortunately in the English language we have cheated ourselves by using the same [word] to cover a wide variety of relationships. In the Greek language there were four different words, each describing a different kind of love:
‘Agape’ refers to a pure love with particular reference to God.
‘Phileo’ is the love of friendship.
‘Storge’ describes the love of a parent.
‘Eros’ is romantic love.
“Note carefully that although only one of the loves [eros] is physically consummated, all of them involve commitment. However, in our culture when we say “love” it is most often physical love that is implied, and that devoid of commitment. How strange that we call the sexual act “making love” when in actuality if that act is without commitment…it is a literal and figurative denuding of love in which the individual is degraded to an object.”
“When love is shallow the heart is empty, but if the sacrifice of love is understood, one can drink deeply from its cup and be completely fulfilled.”
I hope that my love for others will always be a love that has commitment backing it up.
How has someone shown you that love is a commitment?
Tozer: The true follower of Christ will not ask, “If I embrace this truth, what will it cost me?”
— brian rushing
2 replies on “True Love Ain’t Free”
Thanks Brian. i always remember you teaching the youth about “love”. About “love” being an action not an emotion.
I remember you talking to Brian and I about renewing our vows in a covenant ceremony. That we are not to give 50/50 but each of us are to give 100%.
I know that I continuously fall short on giving 100% to my husband. Fortunately for both of us, we are too stubborn to let go and the “for better or worse” in many cases has been the “worse.” Sometimes that “love” is there even when there is no “like.”
Thank you, Brian for being one who has shown us love and have shared your love with so many!
Thanks Maria! For all you do to show love to others, to share God’s light and love to those around you, and for being such an encourager!